Stepmother expects 18-year-old stepdaughter to babysit her kid at husband’s funeral, she refuses: “You’re not the only one here who lost someone”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 10, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

One of the hardest things in life is having to deal with family situations. It doesn't matter if you had everything under one roof, that your parents stayed together, that they lived a long life, that you had a good relationship with them. Things that are better on the surface don't always equate to being better at its core. Maybe your parents are divorced, maybe you had to grow up with stepsiblings in your home and feeling like you're an alien there to the rest of your family. Maybe you have nothing else going for you and you rely on your family for everything. 

Some people are closer with their parents than others. It's a dream to have the love and support of family while you're growing up. The thing about being a parent is that it never really stops no matter how old your children get. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman whose father went over the hill. She relied on him immensely, and they were very close. She's not very close to her mother, so when he passed away it meant even more. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to "babysit" my stepbrother during my dad’s funeral?

    "You do the math"
    via DAPA Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (18F) lost my dad three weeks ago. He was my best friend, my safe place, and honestly the only parent who really got me. My mom and I are... strained, and she divorced him when I was 10. He remarried when I was 13, and his wife "Stacy" (40sF) came with her own son, Adam (9M now). To be real, I never bonded with them.
    via u/RileyZane2007
  • 03
    Stacy always treated me like guest in my own dad's house, and Adam was a spoiled little tornado. My dad tried to make it work, but I mostly avoided going over once | hit 16. We were closer one-on-one anyway.
    via u/RileyZane2007
  • 04
    Fast forward to the funeral. I was wrecked. I'd spent the night before writing a eulogy and crying my eyes out. I was trying to hold it together in black heels and waterproof mascara. Then Stacy pulls me aside literally 15 minutes before the service starts and says: "Hey, could you just keep an
    via u/RileyZane2007
  • 05
    eye on Adam? He's having a hard time and I want to be able to focus on greeting people."I thought she was joking. But no. She wanted me -the daughter of the de d man - to babysit her son so she could socialize like it was some brunch event.
    via u/RileyZane2007
  • 06
    I said no. Politely at first. Then more firmly when she pushed. She got huffy and whispered, "You know, you're not the only one who lost someone."I snapped. I said, "You lost a husband of five years. I lost the man who raised me my entire life. You do the math."She gasped like I slapped her and stormed off.
    via u/RileyZane2007

  • Some people are closer with their parents than others. It’s a dream to have the love and support of family while you’re growing up. The thing about being a parent is that it never really stops no matter how old your children get. 

  • 07
    Later, at the reception, she told my mom and other relatives what I said, and now half the family is calling me "selfish" and "immature." My aunt even said I "traumatized Adam" because apparently he overheard us and cried.I feel bad for the kid, I do. But I was grieving too. I didn't think it was my job to parent her child when I was barely keeping it together myself.
    via u/RileyZane2007
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10492160000
    via Syda Productions / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    So... AITA?
    via u/RileyZane2007
  • 10
    Select_Insect_4450 • 20h ago You're not the a h le. There was aunts and uncles. When we were kids we pretty much grouped up with cousins at funerals. It would be a different if she asked you to watch him while she went to the bathroom or something
    via u/Select_Insect_4450
  • 11
    maybe even a group deciding to take shifts. Saying watch him while I am at the greeting line for 2 hours no that's unreasonable. She should have had a sitter for him if that much of a pain in the a
    via u/Select_Insect_4450
  • 12
    Jealous-Ad-8100 • 20h ago Ntah that's your father. That is the person who brought you into this earth, if you have anyday that no one should ask you for a thing it's that day, May he rest in paradise and keep watching over you. Sleep making him proud
    via u/Jealous-Ad-8100
  • 13
    Embarrassed_Hat_2... 19h ago How was anything you said traumatizing to Adam? There was nothing you said that was about him or mean to him to make him cry.
    via u/Embarrassed_Hat_2904
  • 14
    trinityeglover • 20h ago Op, I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. Losing a parent is tough, I lost my mom in 2022. You are 1000x NTA. She was out of line asking you to babysit for your father's funeral. If the child isn't able to sit through
    via u/trinityeglover
  • 15
    the wake/funeral and has to be "watched," then she should have brought help or hired so.eone to keep him home. Again, my deepest condolences
    via u/trinityeglover
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10492159232
    via evgenyatamanenko from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    Eemeraldskye • 18h ago Honestly, it's wild that she even thought that was okay. Like, you're grieving your dad and she expects u to look after her kid? That's just selfish. I get it's hard for Adam, but like, it's YOUR dad's funeral, and she
    via u/Eemeraldskye
  • 18
    should've been more understanding. You weren't being selfish, just protecting yourself from more emotional strain.
    via u/Eemeraldskye
  • 19
    Lovebug-1055 • 20h ago Don't worry, she was totally out of line. She should have brought a babysitter! Tell your aunt that this is none of her business.
    via u/Lovebug-1055
  • 20
    • We... 19h ago Edited 5h ago NTA. By the size of the peanut gallery, it sounds like there were lots of mature adults who hadn't lost their father to take care of Adam. Still, good news...you're 18, so you can speak to whoever you want or not. You also have zero reason to continue communicating with your late father's wife.
    via u/Western_Fuzzy
  • 21
    You can invite or remove whoever you want from your life as an adult. Sounds like you wouldn't be losing much other than a headache anyway.
    via u/Western_Fuzzy
  • 22
    sciencegal281 • 19h ago NTA. After my mom di d, I had a distant cousin tell me that she missed my mom more than me they didn't have a relationship. They just chatted occasionally on the phone. people are super delusional.
    via u/sciencegal281
  • 23
    SilentJoe1986 • 19h ago She could have asked any other family member to watch her son. She should have done exactly that. NTA
    via u/SilentJoe1986

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